


A League of Japes

by raditus



Category: A League of Gentlemen, Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 22:50:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15083456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raditus/pseuds/raditus
Summary: Sam and Dean end up in another Reality. They are hoping to buy a car battery, but Sam's attitude, seemingly messed up by the magic journey, is appalling. Edward thinks so too, but he learns that going after people that seemingly deserve it might not always be the best or brightest plan!





	A League of Japes

"What is this place?" Dean Winchester demanded, "It looks like a death trap.

"It says in the sign that it's the local shop." Sam put in helpfully. "Maybe they have car batteries?"

"I doubt it, not in this dump." They had to leave the Impala behind their parent reality. they decided to pick up a spare car battery here before returning when their main mission was done. "I hope that Royston's not as run down as this place."   
The brothers walked into the still open store, wincing at the dinginess and near disorder of the shop proper.

"Is there anything we can do for you at all?" This short rotund old lady asked. Sam made a face, seemingly at her clothing. 

"We need to know if you carry car batteries and how much they cost." Dean announced.

"Edward," The lady shouted in alarm Dean, by instinct, twitched, his arm kerking back for the gun he kept near his ass pocket. "There's more outsiders!"

"We didn't mean to frighten you,"Sam tried to placate the woman. 

"We'll have no trouble here!" This short man came from the back of the shop. Dean went silent at the man's appearance, eyes widening with sheer shock! 

"All we need is a car battery." He told the man. He had a thin thread of tact not to remark on his looks. 

"Dude," Sam barked, "You're a friggin' orc!"

"I beg your pardon?" Edward managed an indignant tone. His eyes were wide behind his glasses. it was Dean's turn to even look in Sam's direction, a nearly identical surprised glare.

"They are so rude, Edward!" The woman bemoaned. 

"Hey," It was Dean's turn to be offended. "I didn't say any of that garbage!"

"Neither of you can read." Edward snarled, showing off vicious, rotten teeth. "This is a local shop. Locals only."

"Very hypocritical, seeing as the both of you look like you need an I-can-read book more than a general store." Dean gaped at Sam. The hell was his problem? "And you ever hear on an invention called Crest? Try it - I hear it will give you a killer smile."

"I'll give you the fight of your life, Sonny." Edward shook his fist at Sam from behind the counter. I've been in wars, I'll have you know!"

Sam had an asshole smirk on his face that told Dean another crack was coming. All he could so was shake his head, giving his brother a dubious side-eye.. "I didn't know you'd be fun sized; Should I stand on my knees so you can have a fair shot?" 

All Dean had time for was to witness Edward yelling in outrage at the jape of his height, and some dude they met earlier on the road, Harvey Denton, entering the shop. Dean knew he was hurried searching for a shop that carried emergency replacement containers for some of his toads. Harvery stood stock-still, gaping in trepidation as the shopkeeper bellowed, sounding like an angry warthog, charging over the counter!

"Shit, Sam! Let's go!"

Both brothers grabbed each other, men tumbling outside the shop, running down the road. Harvey, knowing trouble was brewing, promptly turned around, and left for back home!  
"Those denim wrapped brats got away!" Tubbs complained. "And they cost us a sale to a local!"

"Don't worry Tubbs," He laughed an angry laugh, sounding maniacal, "They won't get far!" 

Tubbs clapped, cheering as Edward showed her a set of keys in his hand. He twirled around, dashing out the shop. She grabbed an onion and started eating it, waiting for Edward to come back from a successful pest-control outing. 

"What the hell has gotten into you, Sam?" Dean demanded. "That wasn't at all like you! That wasn't even self defense; That was straight up you being snotty!"

"What the hell do you care? You could have taken that orc guy!" 

Castiel teleported from nowhere. "Why of all places did that curse have to take you both here?"

"I don't know, but can you do your angel mojo to get us out of here?" Dean asked. "Sam's not at all like himself. he completely got us kicked out of a mom-and-pop store; He verbally trashed the shopkeepers!"

Castiel nodded. "I've been through once, years ago. If they're the same ones, Sam's behavior could have very well made sure to have cost your lives. I will get you both back to the right reality." He grabbed their shoulders, whisking them away. "And sort Sam out." 

From behind a Boulder, Edward saw everything! He heard the argument, and learned that the baiting behavior from the giant boy wasn't normal for him. Amazingly, he'd seen the trench coat wearing man pop into existence, talk about realities, then they all popped out of existence! 

Tubbs was minding the store when Edward stormed in, face paler than usual and slack, no scowl or triumphant gleam. 

"Edward, what's happened?"

"Tubbs, they were able to get far." 

"What do you mean?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." He went upstairs. When Tubbs checked on him, he'd already was asleep in bed.


End file.
